Dating can be a mixture of anticipation, frustration, excitement, fun, and often, disappointment. Whether you have been looking for a while or dating regularly or perhaps you have been in and out of relationships; you may have reached a point where you ask yourself, “How do I find ‘the one’?”
Whether you believe in a soul mate or not, ‘the one’ is generally accepted as an ideal match. Someone you feel a deep connection with as well as strong attraction and compatibility. Someone you can share your authentic self with and know that you are accepted “as is” mentally, physically and emotionally. This is not to imply that a relationship with “the one” is easy or without any difficulty. It’s simply a relationship with the one person you feel the deepest bond, respect, trust, passion and friendship.
But how do you find such a relationship? How do you find “the one? Is there really a way to increase your chances of finding ‘The One’? There are certainly a plethora of opinions, tips and tools designed to help you find a match. Countless tips exist on what to look for in a mate, how to be attractive, successful pick-up lines, where to meet people, how to write a profile, where to go on a date, how to get the girl or guy, etc. These tips can be useful if what they offer is the single technique that truly holds you back. But, if you try these tips and still find you are having a difficult time finding “the one”, then what you need may lie much deeper than any simple tip offers. Even after you master the most effective techniques for meeting and talking to people and looking your best, you will still require the one absolute necessity to find and keep “the one”. What might that be?
In order to find ‘the one’, you must be “the one”!
No, this is not a mind trick. It is a simple truth. Before you seek Mr. or Ms. perfect, consider this: are you “the one” for that “perfect” person? Do you know who you are and what you bring into a relationship? Are you honest with yourself about what you want and need from your partner? Can you reveal your authentic self with confidence?
If you are unsure of your answers or you find yourself trying to be the perfect date or convince a great guy or girl that you are the ideal partner for them, then you are not yet ready for your “one’. Why? Because eventually the excitement of getting to know each other will give way to actually knowing each other. The anticipation of potential compatibility (physically, mentally and emotionally) gives way to the reality of what you actually share and what you do not. It is at this point, if you are honest with yourself and the other person, you recognize your differences. You will begin to feel the strain of your disconnects that you carefully tried to hide or overlook. You will begin to long to have your deeper needs met–the ones you tried to overlook.
So what do you do to avoid this inevitable letdown? Here is a simple 10 step formula for dating and relationship success:
- Know who you are and what matters most to you. Know what you want and what you don’t.
- Leave the past in the past. Every relationship deserves a fresh unbiased start.
- Always be your authentic self.
- Never stop becoming the best version of you.
- Take your time–do not fast forward–enjoy the now. What you do now is what creates your tomorrow.
- See what is versus what you want to see: people always reveal themselves to you.
- Allow time to demonstrate the living proof that your hopes and dreams are a reality.
- Be flexible and understanding, no one person is perfect and neither are you.
- Communicate, bond, and talk through all that matters to you.
- Do not worry about what has not yet happened.
When you regularly practice all of the above, you will find you attract people who are far more in line with who you are and what you are looking for in life. You can avoid altogether the dates that you used to accept just to pass time or fulfill a single need. So take some time for some self-evaluation. Work on those areas that need your attention. Being “the one” is magnetic. It draws your “one” to you. It changes everything.