In any healthy relationship, we compromise on many things to bring harmony and balance to a relationship. But healthy compromises do not injure our self-esteem, our health or our lives. If you find yourself in a relationship where you feel injured or hurting due to accepting unhealthy demands that cross your personal boundaries, take a step back.
Unhealthy compromises injure your self-esteem. When you violate your core beliefs to accommodate another, you lose a measure of self-respect. No healthy relationship will require this type of compromise. It is easy to be blinded by love, but true love will not seek selfish gain at the expense of a loved one through unhealthy compromise. Never compromise your core beliefs in an effort to find love, acceptance or validation.
At times, it may be tempting to make compromises that are not congruent with our character in order to please the one we love. Unfortunately, this will always damage the relationship. Healthy, great relationships are achieved when both partners bringing their best self to the relationship and seeking the best for each other. If you feel pressured to do something you are not comfortable with, carefully consider how you respond to your partner. Evaluate what is going on in the relationship. Consider the motivation of your partner’s request. Does the request come from a place of love and understanding of your needs? If not, is the request purely selfish? Perhaps it’s even illegal? Will fulfilling the request put you at some kind of risk or endanger you? Would considering the request damage your self-esteem? If you have doubts, simply say “no” and explain why you cannot accommodate their request. See how your partner reacts. If they truly love you, they will want to make you happy. They will want what is best for you and would not put you in a position of compromising your self-esteem or values. When faced with such a difficult circumstance, always, always choose yourself and never compromise your values or self-esteem.
Stay strong and expect the best in life for yourself and others and you will find you do not need to compromise what is important to you for the sake of “love.”