Everyone wants a happy relationship, but sometimes we do things we may not be aware of that work against us. Here are the top 5 mistakes to avoid if you want a happy relationship:
1. Stop thinking things will go wrong. When we have experienced pain from previous relationships, or we lack self-esteem, confidence or relationship skills, we can get into the habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop. But this negative process of giving in to fears can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Instead, have faith in yourself. Know what you have to offer. Let your partner reveal themselves to you. Expect the best. Then if you find there is not a good fit, move on. Never give in to the slippery slope of fear.
2. If your day sucks, deal with it before you talk to your partner. It can be tempting to run to your partner when you have had a bad day and replay every aspect and release all of your frustration. It is far better to avoid the temptation! Negativity and stress tends to be cumulative and will only bring both of you down–even if you got the release you sought. Instead, process the events in your own mind first. Find a way to release the stress and make your peace with yourself. Once you see things objectively and calmly, then go ahead and share any important issues with your partner. They will truly appreciate your effort.
3. Know and love yourself first. This can be an ongoing project, but it really is impossible to truly love someone without first loving yourself. This is not to be confused with what you think of yourself, but rather the foundation of how you genuinely feel about yourself. Know your worth. Know your passions. When you know who you are and you enjoy your life you have more to share in the relationship instead of looking for your partner to fill your life.
4. Practice appreciation daily. It is incredibly easy to take things and people for granted. When things are going well we often are simply happy or satisfied and assume all of our partners efforts will continue. But without any real appreciation of their efforts, it is unlikely they will. Appreciation makes all of us feel valued. So instead of taking the love, kindness, passion, selflessness, generosity and caring for granted, make an effort to show your appreciation. Go beyond “thanks” and share your feelings or better still reciprocate in an equally wonderful and unexpected way.
5. Make an effort to be your best self. Building upon your foundation of self-love and self-esteem, make an effort daily to take yourself to the next level. Whether its self-care (looking your best, eating healthy, staying strong), or its enrichment and enlightenment (education, new experiences, travel, meditation or discovery), or its healing old wounds and eliminating bad habits and fears, it is worth your best effort daily. Life is a journey and our daily actions drive us through it. Every day is a gift. Make your best effort to feel good about it and yourself.
We would love to hear your secrets and thoughts on mistakes you avoid to have your best relationship. Please share your experiences and advice in our comments section.