We all want a great life. We strive to achieve our goals and create loving relationships in our personal lives. The degree to which we are successful depends largely upon how well we know ourselves and how true we are to our values and desires. Unfortunately, we can subconsciously sabotage that which we most desire in an effort to protect ourselves from failure or loss. We fool ourselves into believing if we do as others expect or demand, we will eventually get our needs met and be content. This is a fallacy. When we compromise our true self and our true desires it never ends well. Instead, this type of compromise leads to regrets, disappointment and resentment.
The greatest secret to a happy life and relationship is in knowing yourself and being true to your values, beliefs and desires. When you follow your own principles, people respect you and you will respect and value yourself. When you compromise yourself or your values you erode your self-esteem which always works against you and all you value. When you live according to your true self and practice kindness, respect, and love for your own reasons without expecting any thing in return, you will naturally become magnetic to others. You will also experience more fulfillment and joy in your life. Remember, people believe what you believe about yourself. Your words and actions reveal your beliefs. So choose your beliefs carefully. Live your values and dreams and reap the rewards.
Wondering just how to accomplish the task of finding your true self and a greater level of satisfaction and happiness by following your values? You can set yourself up to succeed by following these 10 steps:
- Know yourself. Make a list of all the qualities you posses that are good and a separate list of areas you wish to grow or change. Take ownership of what you know to be true. Focus on the positive and be mindful of your thoughts. Your inner dialog can sabotage you and keep your focus on the negative. Challenge any doubts and reject any negative thoughts/feelings. If change or growth is needed, make a move forward with confidence and without judgement or recriminations.
- Accept that you are a beautiful perfect creation even with your faults, because you really are a unique gift to this life and to all who share it. Be grateful for this amazing gift.
- In your daily thoughts, abolish self-recrimination. Instead, logically evaluate what works and what does not and choose what works as you move forward.
- Know that the point of life is in learning and striving to become more of all you value and to share all of that with others freely.
- There is no destination. No arriving. Just countless experiences and our thoughts and feelings about those experiences. Knowing this, it is important to realize that we only really control our thoughts. and our thoughts create our choices in every way. So choose your thoughts wisely versus living life on auto pilot. Automatic thoughts can follow false beliefs that limit you and create pain. Our feelings can be misleading and trick us into believing something that is not true or lead to fears that are rooted in our past that have little to do with our reality today. So acknowledge your fears and your feelings, but use actual facts to reject your fears and feelings of worry. When you choose your thoughts, there is no rejection, no failure; only opportunities for a better future and lessons learned from experiences that did not meet a desired outcome.
- When going after what you want, always believe in a positive conclusion. There literally is very little you cannot achieve with this belief. Do not mistake this for cocky, ego-driven self-assurance. This is all about knowing what you know and having trust and confidence in a good result.
- Take action. Action equals results. Planning is good, but everything happens in real-time. Abolish worry (it is never useful). Take action and remember what works for you. Great actions yield great results.
- Review your experiences. See if they align with your beliefs and values. Stay true to what matters most to you. No horse trading or self-limiting compromises. Learn from your experiences so you can make better choices and take better actions.
- Be grateful for everything. Gratitude leads to deep satisfaction for you and everyone you come in contact with. Share your appreciation with others; it will have a great impact on your life and improve your relationships.
- Value yourself, your life, your opportunities and all others. Life is such an amazing gift and we are lucky to enjoy it! It is never too late. So today and every day, choose joy and happiness over worry and fear. Fears block happiness and create regrets. Having faith in yourself, living your values and pursuing your dreams will deliver your greatest satisfaction and joy in life.
We would love to hear your thoughts. What are the steps you take that lead to a happier, more fulfilled life? Share your comments and thoughts with the affinity4us community below.